I felt useless again. You're making things worse for me. You wanted to show you care but that's the wrong way. After hanging up, I cried like fuck because Im hurt and pissed like fuck. All along you thought Im ignorant? Well, I wish I was now, after what you pull me into. You triggered this and now you can easily let this off. Do whatever you want for now. And most prolly you're unhappy with me now. Yes, Im being selfless. Why, because all along I hate what Im feeling. I hate being useless. Did you see me try? Yes you did. But why you're doing this? Have I not done enough for you. Please think through this. I know your intentions are good but I cant accept the fact that you're making me feel useless. I hate that fucking word. I want to be ignorant for now. Please just forgive me for not being myself previously. I just hate that feeling. It slowly eats me up on the inside. For one second, I just hope that everything around me just shuts down and dies off. Im really sorry for doing that to you previously. I hope I can make you happy in future. Not for you but for myself. Because at the end of the story, I know that you know, the only person that I can truly rely on is myself with your guidence along side. Im trying my best to boost up mentally with less denial of things around me. Im truly sorry and you know I didnt mean to say that to you. You know, no matter what I will always love you. I hope you knew. I just love you.
