Have Eu Found Sumone New?
Wahhh.. Damn tired sia! Juz came baq though. I noe late. Juz needed tyme to relax a bit lah. Well, today nutynk much happen in skul. Juz the same old boring thing. Assignments and more assignments cumyn up. Especially fer the 3D design. We haf to pass up the mock-up model and design sketches all by next week. Fucakanathan! I bet i cant finysh up. Eu noe why? Cuz i still wana haf fun! Gahhhh.... Dis weds guin fer The Sally's gig at Powerhaus dere sum more. Eu see.. I cant seem to stop havyng fun lah. Tats juz me. I will enjoy fez den suffer later! I noe, tats the opposite. Fuck! Wat i care! Gahahaha! After skul went to meet Yana, Sarifah, Amyn and KARYM! Those whu has been catching up wit the tingz happening around me wud noe why i caps hys name. Hmmmmm... Okay. Den dey all went baq and i go meet Zaki, Faisal and Liska. And today was Liska's burfday. Almost forget! Well, i did wish her though. Okay... Den walk2 at CWP. Buy milkshake! Zaki sooooo addict to it. That's lyke hys drugs. Fuck! Okay den meet Jogoh at Courts dere. Den proceed to Titanic and lepak lah. Den talk crap and crap and more crap. Play game and paly game and play more game. Wahhhh... reali let go of my strez sia 2day. Afta wat ive found out today, i wasnt duin fyne uh. Reali... It reali made me tynk too much. And i mean it, i reali take it to the heart.
Have eu found sumone new? Are eu happy now? Eu wanted it all along ryte? How can eu be so happy with everything now? Why so faz? Do eu even noe wat im feeling now? Have eu ever tot bout my feelings? Have eu ever tot bout it? Dunt eu realise? Why? How cum?
Soooo euuu see... I haf so many tingz running thru my head now. Too many questions dat cant be answered. I know eu're sooo over it. But one thing i dunt understand, why so faz? Im strong enuf to believe tat eu've moved on fer ur own good. But to see eu moved on so faz reali hurts me. I admit i do feel lyke shit wen i lose out to eu. To see eu moved on hurt me soo badly. I juz duno why. I tried not to even care bout how eu're duin ryte now but it wunt work. Make it simple, i cant stop thinking bout it. I noe its the past but my type of person i'll forgive ppl easily but never once will ferget. Of all the relationships ive been thru, i must say, duryng the tyme wit eu, it made me realise wat love is all about. And i reali lyke how tingz were guin around wenever im with eu. Sooo euu see... eventhough eu see me all blissed outsyde deep insyde im a mess! Im a train wreck i must say. A big tyme train wreck. I do keep tingz to myself. But wen i reali cant stand it i try to fynd ways to breakthru and let it out. I do haf sum ppl in my lyfe tat has always been dere 4 me wen tingz juz go wrong. But they wud oni listen, they cant do anything. But dats good enuf uh. Well, i can see eu're happy with wat eu're gettyng now. Im juz telling eu dat i maybe happy fer eu but deep down insyde eu noe how shitty i feel. Im not askyng fer symphathy or any kind of shit uh. I juz had to let dis go. Reali... Ive been keeping dis fer so long. Its tyme fer me to break thru. Things juz hav to go on. I cant be stuck in dis piece of crap and let it lingers around me. I noe, i too haf to move on. But im totally under pressure. So many things guin thru my head. Skul assignments are piling up, my BFF treatyng me lyke shit, my family [ now not so bad uh ] and now i found out wat i dunt wana hear. Argghhh! It reali irks me out. I dun even noe why im postyng dis shit here. Maybe its the only way i can blow off. Ryte here, ryte now.
Okay! Eu noe wat. Its tyme. Ive reali made up my mynd. MOVE ON FUCKER! Seriusss... No point clinging on sumtynk tat will never cum baq. Ok Shekyn! Go fynd sumtynk betta to fill up ur stoopid tots of tat crap. I can say dis easily but duin it is not easy. Sumtymes i do feel lonely wen i feel shitty. Eu noe lyke eu hav no one to hear eu cry. No one to see ur pain. No one to be by ur syde thru thick and thins. No one to share ur happy moments. But i noe one fyne day, things wud get betta. I dunt hope fer the bez. But i juz wan sumone to be dere 4 me. Sumone whu is willing to change me. Sumone whu wud love me fer whu i am. Sumone good fer me. I dun want better. Juz good wud be enuf. Ive been yearning to be in my happy place once again... Thats all im asking for. And sad to say, im still trying my bez to move on. No more fairytale. Been dere. Done tat.
+spits.im-Shekyn-thedork, 1.03am+
